Once again I'm a little depressed by the tired old face that I see,
Once again it is time to be someone, who's anyone other than me.
With the rare combination of girlish excitement and manly restraint,
I position my precious assortment of pencils and powders and paint.
So whenever I feel that my place in the world is beginning to crash,
I apply one great stroke of Mascara to my rather limp upper lash.
And I can cope again, Good God! There's hope again!
When life is a real bitch again, and my old sense of humor has up, and gone
It's time for the big switch again, I put a little more Mascara on.
When I count my crow's feet again, and tired of this perpetual marathon,
I put down the john-seat again, and put a little more Mascara on.
And ev'rything's sparkle dust, bugle beads, ostrich plums,
When it's a beaded lash that you look through,
'Cause when I feel glamorous, elegant, beautiful,
The world that I'm looking at's beautiful too!
When my little road has a few bumps again,
And I need something level to lean upon,
I put on my sling pumps again,
And wham! This ugly duckling is a swan!
So when my spirit starts to sag,
I hustle out my highest drag,
And put a little more mascara on.
And ev'rything's ankle straps, Maribou, Shalimar!
It's worth socking in my gut, and girdling my rear.
'Cause ev'rything's ravishing, sensual, fabulous!
When Albin is tucked away, and, ZaZa is here!
When ev'rything slides down the old tubes again,
And when my self esteem has begun to drift,
I strap on my fake boobs again,
And literally give myself a lift.
So when it's cold and when it's bleak,
I simply rouge the other cheek,
For I can face another day
In slipper satin lingerie.
To make depression disappear,
I screw some rhine stones on my ear,
And put my brooches and tiara,
And a little more mascara on
Sparkle dust, bugle beads,
Ankle straps, Maribou...On! Ankle straps, Maribou,
Ostrich plumes, Shalimar,
Ravishing, fabulous, on! Ravishing, fabulous, on!